My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
