Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Dicks are not precious.
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