My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
