all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
