just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
