Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
