Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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