Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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