Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
