apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
my liver is dry heaving
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
