I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
