That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She even gives head with a lisp.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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