Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
