I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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