Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
