Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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