Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
