his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize