i just google imaged poop.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
