Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
