Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
