i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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