I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
