Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
