His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize