Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
