i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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