He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
How does one acquire holy water?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
