Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Of course I have a pirate flag
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
