he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
