the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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