I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My vagina is officially offended.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize