there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
