i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
