Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
