Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
