i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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