And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
