How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
