oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
