I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
