2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Holy sore nipples Batman
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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