moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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