tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
