They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
