So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
