he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Damn victory sex feels great
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
