took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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