Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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