Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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