Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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