So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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