Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
