Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
foreskin is a definite game changer
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
