is your mom at the bar?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
