A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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