Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
