Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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