a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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