u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
