elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
