i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
