I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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