hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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