No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Randomize
