There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
