Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.

Fav 67 3645 1039
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(214): View more from Texas

I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.

Fav 4 863 2170
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(808): View more from Hawaii

i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed

Fav 25 4259 1313
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(613): View more from Ontario

One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.

Fav 31 2725 2047
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(913): View more from Kansas

the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night

Fav 28 5383 1375
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(217): View more from Illinois

I will never swim in a flooded basement again..

Fav 7 1816 3193
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(620): View more from Kansas

He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.

Fav 16 4401 1236
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead

Fav 1 618 525
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(903): View more from Texas

I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.

Fav 0 51 6
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