I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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